It's been a while

Wow.....it's been a while since I've put anything on this blog! Probably because there is nothing, and I mean nothing, to report! Nothing going on the baby makin' and nothing going on the movin' & shakin'. I think (and this sounds really bad) it was because I just got to the point where I didn't care. We bought a house and blew our savings on it, so that kind of threw adoption and or fertility out of the picture. Now we're looking at getting out debt, so......

One positive thing did happen. I went in last Tuesday (the 15th) and had surgery to remove a tumor that was growing on my right ovary and then also have blockage removed from my fallopian tubes. I was sooo nervous. It wasn't even a big surgery. Just laproscopic, but it was still surgery. I think it was because I had heard so many bad things about the carbon dioxide they fill the stomach up with to better see your organs. I had some people tell me it was worse than child birth and others tell me it felt like they were having a heart attack when it was leaving the body. That an the IV.....I HATE needles!

Well, Tuesday rolled around and I had to be at that hospital at noon to register. After registering they took me back so I could strip and put on the sexy hospital gown and then start the IV. The IV wasn't actually bad....they inject solution in the hand before (with a tiny needle) to numb it. Awesome! Not so awesome....I had to sit, well, lay, in the pre-op room for almost two hours before we went back. I looked at the clock when they finally rolled me into the OR and it was almost 3:30. Next thing I remember was waking up in post-op and then finally REALLY waking up in the recovery room. They had me sit in a chair and I was soooo nauseated. Plus they couldn't keep my oxygen levels up. Needles to say I was in recovery until about 8:30 that night. They close recovery at 10 pm, so if I hadn't been able to keep my oxygen up and my nausea levels down at that point, I would have been admitted. I SOOO didn't want to be admitted. I was never so glad to get home in my life!

I was feeling pretty good Tuesday night and didn't know what people were talking about. Gas? No problem! Pain? Ehh...not too bad! Especially considering I had three incisions. That was, until I got up Wednesday. I have NEVER felt more pain in my entire life. It hurt to stand, it hurt to sit, it hurt to move. I COULD NOT lay down because the pain was unbearable. I didn't sleep for about four nights straight. I had a mini break down on Thursday night. Poor Bubs. I think it was a combo of the pain, nausea and no sleep. I just started crying which was a mistake because that made the pain even worse. He felt so helpless. But, I finally was able to get some sleep last night, the incisions are painful but nothing Advil can't take care of, and my shoulders are good. I still have some pain in my rib cage, but I'm not sure if that's from the gas or a combo of the gas and where they took out the tumor.

So, fingers crossed this might make a difference in the fertility battle. I'm not sure. I just know due to the size of the tumor (which was a lot bigger than even the doctor had realized) it hurt during my periods. The bubs was great. He took off some time from work and would not let me lift a finger. He's such a cutie and such a good husband. I'm so thankful and blessed to have him in my life. Now, it's back to the real life and getting my house back in order. It looks like a tornado hit it! :)

In honor of infertility awareness week (okay, just kidding about that. I actually didn't know there was even an awareness week until yesterday) we headed down to Salt Lake yesterday for an infertility conference. I am SOOO glad we went! They had some wonderful doctors who did a great job of explaning more about infertility (I didn't know this, but infertility is a disease. Kinda interesting, huh?) and the new advances they have to help people like us get preggers. The talks were so informative, but the question and answer part was even better. It was nice to be able to sit in a room full of people (who ranged from quite older couples to really young girls) who understand what we are going through and have them share experiences and ask the same questions we had. I know in past posts I said we were looking at adoption, but a couple of weeks ago I had a strong impression that we should put our focus and money on fertility and give it another try. We're going to be going to a clinic down in Sandy that has an extremely high success rate (in fact, one of the presenters at the conference was a doctor at the clinic we are looking at) so for the first time in a really long time I'm hopeful. Although I'm not really looking forward to the treatments themselves (injections, meds, overall craziness hormone wise!) the bubs and I are both pretty excited about the new journey.

Stress

I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I just don't handle stress very well. When I'm stressed, I like to eat.a.lot. Not the good stuff either. The worse the stress, the more pasta, candy and bread products sound REALLY good! This past week was pretty bad. There's been a lot going on lately and everything came to a head on Friday. So, I ended up taking a half day and going to lunch with the bubs. I started out the week doing REALLY good on my fertility diet and by the end of the week I was drinking coke and eating crap. I'm also kinda bummed because I wanted to start going back to the gym in the morning this week. But, with daylight savings, it might a full week for my body to get used to the time change. I'm hoping this week will be a little better because I'm tired of just about everything right now. I'm hoping exercise will help reduce the stress. I'm also thinking maybe I should start doing yoga or meditation. Otherwise, it won't matter how healthy I want to be. The stress will get me in the end.

Posting Away

I'm sitting here drinking my prenatal drink and thought maybe I should post. The bubs brought home so prenatal mix so I don't have to take a pill. I hate taking the pills, they make me so sick. So far the eating is still going pretty well. My downfall is when I get home. I get so busy at work that I forget to eat my snacks so I'm starving when I get home. Last night I broke down and had two pieces of toast....with butter. Ya, not so good. Tonight I came home and had two peanut butter eggs (hey, they don't have trans fat in them!) So, I need to start doing a little better in the whole eating thing. I also need to remember to get my snacks in. I was talking to a work friend the other day and we were complaining about how hard it is to get back into the eating better thing. I didn't realize how much I mindlessly eat during the day at work. Now that I'm not grazing, I get SOOO hungry! I know my stomach will shrink soon, it's just hard in the meantime. I've also been getting up early with the bubs. I'm trying to get into the habit of getting up early so I can start going back to the gym. I'm so tired, but I know pretty quickly my body will adjust. We did go grocery shopping tonight and stocked up on healthy things for dinners (we planned all the meals out of the Body for Life cookbook). I do love healthy eating, it's just hard because it's so expensive. Oh well, it's worth it in the end! Next week, the gym.

First Day Down

Well, I started my fertility diet yesterday and forgot how hard it is the first couple of days to eat better. I filled up on my oatmeal and flax seed, and all that kind of good stuff, but was still hungry. I know things will get better in a week or so, but it's hard to not mindlessly eat like I was doing before (especially at work when I was bored!) I also need to get in the habit again of really looking at what I'm eating before I eat it. When the bubs and I were doing body for life I got pretty good at reading labels and need to get back into the groove again. Bad thing about eating tons of fiber again? My tummy. It will take a little while to get back to the high fiber diet I was used to before and not have it affect me. I'm also still on the red bulls. I know, I know. I'm slowly weaning myself off, it's just the caffeine withdrawals I have if I go cold turkey. I don't know how the bubs does it, but I can't. Well, at least I can't and still function at work. Maybe this weekend I'll just stop drinking them. Soda? I can take or leave it. Energy drinks, love them. Ahh.....well, now for day two. Oh, and I did break down at the end of the night and had four oreo's. But, they don't have trans fat in them! I couldn't help it, I needed something sweet (and yes, I could FEEL my blood sugar levels rise!) Bubs is following the weight-watchers plan again but I'm going more for the body for life eating plan. I don't have to count my points but am still very aware of what I'm eating. Plus, when I have protein in the morning, it kills my points even when I make it with water. I'd rather have the protein (as I don't get it the good old fashioned way) than the points. I've also decided to renew my membership at Lady Fitness. I wasn't going too, but decided that if I go to the morning classes (which is going to be really hard!) then I could run at night with the bubs. I need to get my bmi between 20-24 for optimal "baby making" (or so the book says.) So, I need to start stepping it up with exercise. It's been kind of hard lately as I'm not getting home until after 6:30 and still have to make dinner, do laundry, etc, but I need to quit making excuses and just do it!

I'm back!

I've decided to pick up where I left off with this blog, and then add it to it. It's not only going to be a weight-loss blog, but also a fertility journal. As I'm not sure where I'm going to be job wise, we've decided to hold off on the whole fertility thing for right now (well, at least until the dust settles). So, on the advice of a co-workers, I purchased the following book:
As I've just started reading it, I'm not sure how it will go. But, it does basically boil down to three things so far: Eating right, exercise and maintaining a healthy weight. So, thus, a combination on this blog: my journal into the world of exercise and fertility. Hopefully both will go well!

Discouraged

Well, working out seems to be going pretty well. I'm going in the morning four times a week and then trying to go Wednesday nights. However, I'm not seeing the results I would like too! It's so frustrating! When I was doing weight-watchers before, every week I weighed in I lost about five pounds. Even with the eating better and working out, it doesn't seem like I'm really losing anything. Ugh! So, I guess I have to step it up a little. I'll continue to work out in the morning, but I'm also going to start running at night. It will get me in shape faster, plus I love going running with Alan. I can't really ask him to go with me right now as he's training for the Ogden marathon, but soon. I'm also going to change my eating habits a little. I'm going to eat my bigger meals for breakfast and lunch and then at night something really small. I'm hoping with the combination of changes things will speed up. Here's hoping......